Thursday, September 28, 2006

Snakes in a Blog

I started school this week. There's a trend going around these days of rolling backpacks that you can pull around like luggage. They are typically utilized by older women. So, I always thought they were pretty pointless, pulling your back pack as opposed to strapping it on your back the old fashion way. But I've noticed something this week. Seeing these women tote around these rolling backpacks gives you the subconscious impulse to hold doors open. You see these ladies lugging around these suitcases and your mind says "handicapped", and you find yourself scooting all around to make room for them.

So, the other day, I'm at school walking outside, when I see a lady pulling one of these towards the door that I'm exiting. So I'm walking through the door, seeing this lady wobbling her suitcase toward me, so I stop to hold the door open. Then, I realize, she's not walking toward me. Then, it appears that she is walking toward me, again. Suddenly I get all awkward and indecisive, subconsciously thinking, "stay and hold the door open. Wait, is she coming towards the door or isn't she? Wait, she's coming toward the door. No, where's she going? Can't people walk in a straight line?" Which I've noticed is another common characteristic of these ladies, is the inability to walk in a straight line, plus almost total unawareness of ones surroundings. Anyways, it turned out she was just passing by, so I exited, when I realized, wait a minute, nobody stays by a door to hold it open for someone wearing a backpack on their back. Unless that person is right behind them, then it's just the decent thing to do. But you don't stop and use your body to prop the door open when you see someone approaching from down the hall who has a normal backpack strapped to their shoulders. These rolling backpacks wouldn't make things any easier if there were no one around to hold the door open for these people. They would only complicate things. So, the whole point of using a rolling backpack is to get other people to do things for you.

WARNING: Spoilers for the summer classic, Snakes on a Plane
So I went and watched Snakes on a Plane this weekend at the Bagdad Theater in Portland. The movie was everything you could expect from a movie that is actually titled, Snakes on a Plane. Sammy J. played your typical action hero complete with classic action-heroey lines like, "Do what I say if you want to live." Of course, the horny people died first, as according to the rules of the genre. And there was even a hungry anaconda thrown into the mix of smaller poisonous snakes in answer to the T-Rex of Jurassic Park. Over all, however, it was a rather fun experience. Sort of like how the MST3K crew improved upon the viewability of Hercules VS the Moon Men. Snakes on a Plane is a movie where you don't really mind if people talk or yell through it, and there was plenty of that. It was almost like viewing the movie with Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo themselves. Well, the comments weren't that genius, but it was still fun. I even attempted to initiate a slow clap after a rousing speech by Sammy J. It caught on with a few other people, but died out as it turned out his speech dragged on past the point of rousing. If there's one thing I can say about this particular cult classic: no Tim Curry in drag.
Anyways, one thing that I thought would make the movie complete would have been, as the ending credits started to roll, a Louis Armstrong style song that actually begins with the words, "Snakes on a Plane". But, since that part was missing from the movie, stay tuned for my video montage featuring the "Snakes on a Plane Theme Song".
btw, as I was looking up sites for the links on this post, I found a blog actually titled, Snakes on a Blog. Well, I guess that was to be expected.
**spoilers end**
**Blog post ends**
**well, one more plug, then it will end**

Don't forget to check out the Legend of the Green Dragon.

**plug end**
**now blog post ends**

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Okay, fine. Large breasts do make for good blogging.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Man E' Faces

You know those feeling chart things that have all the different facial expressions, like this Garfield one:

Well I figured I'd give you all a present for national talk like a pirate day. What better way to pay tribute to getting drunk and saying, "Yarr!", than my own feeling chart featuring your favorite Dubb. So click on the link below to see the many moods of J-Dubb.;init:.jpg

Darrr! Thar she blows! Shiver me timbers me hardy, tis a big one.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Pictures of gigantic breasts do not make for good blogging.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Maintain eye contact when talking to people.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

See You Next Week

I won't be posting this week, but I'll be back next week for more posts, videos, and Crack Kills.