Wednesday, November 22, 2006

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Don't piss off the cat.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Patriotic Duty

NOTE: I intended to post this during election week, but my computer was recovering from a nasty virus, which I'll post about later, so I minimized my computer time the last couple weeks.

So, a couple weeks ago I got to exercise my freedom by voting for the best politicians to lead my people. It was a tough choice with so many great politicians, but I stand by my decisions as I think these people were the best choices to offer. Unfortunately none of them won, but I just feel so free having this opportunity to chose my masters. To show how seriously I take politics, I am displaying an image of my ballot.

Click the image to see who I voted for. Notice who's running for governor and who I voted for City Council Ward 2 position A.

Superstar of the Week is Bruce Springsteen

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Integrity Vs feminist E-Mails

Hey homies. Have you ever gotten those dumb men e-mails where they basically take blond jokes only they replace the word "blond" with the word "man"? Then at the end of the e-mail they say something like, "If you're a man and you thought this was funny, good for you. If you didn't laugh, I guess you just can't take it." That's where men are supposed to go, "I can take it, I thought it was hilarious, wah-hah-hah."

Um, nice try, but I happen to prefer being honest over impressing people and, quite frankly, it wasn't funny.

"Oh my God J-Dubb! They're just jokes! Lighten up man!"

Once again, nice try, but this is a post about integrity. First we've got the hack job of copy-pasting the word "men" into all the pre-existing jokes which we've all heard before and passing it off as humor. Then we've got the disclaimer of, "this is just a joke, lighten up" when it was obviously done by pissed off feminists with no sense of humor themselves. Third, there's the neat little manipulation tactic, "Don't like it, then you're weak." And finally, we've got the people who laugh in order to be "someone who can take it". (note: I had a Freudian slip where I accidentally wrote "liars" in that last line. Now that's funny). Basically these instances reek with dishonesty.

My honesty: Why am I writing this? I felt the desire to because I really DON'T LIKE these e-mails. Call me stupid for no reason then tell me if I don't laugh, then I'm weak. No, this "you can't take it" bullshit is just your insurance against retribution. Basically, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Tough, you've been called out.

Now, let's discuss how you can bust my chops if it is truly your hearts desire to make me laugh.

Comedy 101
-First off, the whole boys are stupid/ girls are stupid thing stopped being funny after the fifth grade. Might as well resort to the ole, "Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider." When adults make these joke, it's not because they are comedians, it's because they have daddy issues.

-These jokes were funny as blond jokes because they were true. We can relate to them. Look at just about any group and the blond is the ditz of the group. Yes, there are some very smart blonds out there with PHD's and blah blah blah. No, blonds don't have to be ditzy, but many are, due to the way they're conditioned. (Probably because they're spoiled by men who do everything for them their whole lives). It's something we can relate to, which is why these jokes prompt that laugh response in us.

-Be original. People respect new, clever ideas, not recycled ones that we've already laughed at.

-Truth is funny. Specific details are funny. Just saying, Hah hah, men are stupid isn't enough to constitute a laugh. Why are men stupid? What specifically are you referring to?

If you truly want to bust on my balls for the sake of humor, and you're not just pissed off and taking it out on me while passing it off as humor in order to avoid retribution, find something specific to bust on. Not just, "hey you, you're stupid." What specifically can you make fun of? Did I trip while walking? Did I get all excited about knowing an answer while watching Jepardy, just to find out I was wrong? Did I spell Jeopardy wrong? Do I make funny sounds while I eat? I know I'm pretty bad ass, but there's gotta be something you can find to make fun of.

And finally, some advice for those of you who want to be, "people who can take it". Laugh when you think things are funny, don't laugh when you don't feel like it, and when something irritates you, write out long rants on your blog, no matter what anybody else thinks.

J-Dubb out.

PS, if you found this funny, good for you. If you didn't laugh, whatever.

Monday, November 13, 2006