Classic Crack Kills Complete

CK's 36 - 40 have been uploaded completing the classic series. After this I will start the new series.

Animal of the Week is the Cape Buffalo

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Children mimic their parents behavior.

More Crack Kills

Just posted CK31-35

Superstar of the Week is Jack

Trivia Time Answer

The kid in the center is a future:

a. NFL quarterback
b. serial killer
c. novelist
d. song writer

The answer is:



d. songwriter


The kid in the center is Weird Al Yankovic, comedian songwriter and mastermind of such works as, I'm Fat, Ammish Paradise, Like a Surgeon, and Don't Download this Song.

This Weeks Moment in Natural Selection

Animal of the Week is the Aye-aye

Crack Kills Classics

Awhile ago I started loading my classic Crack Kills comics onto a web site and I said I would load 5 per week. The old comics were all on 3.5 disks so I had to have them e-mailed to me by someone who had a 3.5 disk drive. For some reason, all the comics that were larger than four rows were compressed during the e-mailing process. So I expanded them and had to draw over them because they were all pixilated. Well, 10 shy of the origional 40, I just got tired of going over the comics that were compressed, so I stopped. That was some time ago. So I'm gonna try to retrieve the old comics again and just upload the whole thing onto the website, and then I'll start uploading the new CK's. The new comics will have a completely different look btw.

Trivia Time

The kid in the center is a future:

a. NFL quarterback
b. serial killer
c. novelist
d. song writer

Find out the answer on Friday.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Watch where you're going. Seriously on this one, people need to start paying attention.

Snakes on a Plane II

Looks like the movie Snakes on a Plane has made so much hype, they already have a B movie sequel that will never see the box office. Snakes on a Plane II: Jon Dodson, King of Snakes, starring Bruce Campbell as Jon Dodson the snake king.

Superstar of the Week is Elvis

This Weeks Moment in Natural Selection

Another Late Animal of the Week

This time it's a hedgehog.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Atomic explosions may be pretty, but they can have disasterous side effects.

I Fought the Jabberwocky

I just wanted to share this dream I had last night because I thought it was kind of cool. It started out, I was walking around Portland when it started raining some sort of acid rain. So I ran for cover into some sort of parking garage or something along with a whole bunch of other people taking shelter. Then, suddenly, it was several years later and Portland was all abandoned. I had spent the last several years wandering around, surviving, and avoiding the jabberwocky, this green flying demon thing. At one point, the Jabberwocky showed up and this guy in medieval armor with a sword came out and started fighting it. This was still in the middle of Portland, BTW. He managed to ward off the Jabberwocky and then disappeared. Later on, this other guy in armor led me to this building. He brought me into a board room where people in suits were sitting around a conference table. Apparently this guy had set up a knights of the round table thing, and the people in suits were the knights. They told me about how their purpose was to rid the world of the jabberwocky, but so far, no one knew how to kill it. So it turned out they had a whole kingdom of people living in the area, so I stayed with them.

One morning, I woke up and there were these strange looking eggs next to my bed. Then this guy with a bucket showed up and said that he was collecting Jabberwocky eggs. Apparently, the Jabberwocky would lay eggs next to people at night and if they slept too long, the hatchlings would eat their brains.

So later on, the Jabberwocky started attacking, and at that point I remembered something that I had been blocking out from the day several years ago when when the acid rain started falling. That was the same day that the Jabberwocky first made it's appearance. It came into the parking garage where I took shelter and started attacking people, but when it got to me, I put my hands around it's neck and became surrounded by a yellow light. The Jabberwocky screamed in pain and flew off. It was more than I could take though, and I fainted and blacked out the whole thing. Apparently, the guy who started the knights had witnessed it which was why he sought me out.

So, the Jabberwocky was attacking this kingdom in the middle of the city, and I went to approach it and found that it was afraid of me. Whenever I got close to it, it would run off somewhere else. Eventually, I cornered it, so it freaked out and started beating the shit out of me. At one point, it had grabbed ahold of me, and I surrendered to the now. When that happened, the yellow light enveloped me again and the Jabberwocky screamed in pain. Then I started knocking it around, throwing it, headbutting it, and shooting lightning at it until it was subdued. Then I walked over and broke its neck. The dream ended after that.

Superstar of the Week is Candy Clown

Mistakes in History

The other day, I went to Seven Eleven to get a slurpee. I hadn't had one in years. It was a hot summer day, so I thought, what the hell, I'm gonna go get a slurpee. So I went in, and didn't see one slurpee. Well, okay, there were slurpees, but there were no slurpee flavored slurpees. There were exotic flavors like orange mango and stuff, but none of the flavor that I loved in my childhood. Now, these new flavors may be good, but I'll get them when I'm in the mood to try something new, not when I'm in the mood for something I've had before. So I got a raspberry lemonade, figuring it would be the closest flavor to what I wanted. The thing turned out to be sour as all hell, unlike most raspberry lemonade drinks which are sweet. It was like a liquefied warhead.

Anyway, throughout history, there are events that make you go, "that was stupid", or, "what the fuck were they thinking". For example, taking the native Americans out of their tribes and forcing them to conform the psychotic rat race that we are a part of was definitely a bone-head move.

What I'm talking about today is a game called, "Link Faces of Evil". A little backhistory into this story: for those of you who may have wondered why Nintendo was so reluctant to go from cartridges to CDs, when Sony was so successful. In the nineties, before there was a Playstation, Nintendo made a deal with Sony to work together to come out with a CD system. For whatever reason, Nintendo decided to ditch Sony and got together with Phillips. This move was another of history's mistakes, but not the particular one that I will be talking about. Nintendo gave some of its licensing to Phillips, including the licensing to a certain Legend of Zelda theme. Phillips then came out with its own flop of a system called CDI, on which they decided to create their own Zelda based games. These games were "Link, Faces of Evil", "Zelda, The Wand of Gamelon", which placed Zelda as the Heroin and Link as the figure in need of rescuing, and "Zelda's Adventure", which also cast Zelda as the playable character.
Here are the intro and ending videos for Link Faces of Evil.

FoE intro
FoE ending

So apparently, Link is some half baked stoner and Zelda is some spoiled ungrateful brat who seems oblivious to the fact that Link has saved her and Hyrule on countless occasions. And yes, Link did in fact say "golly" at the end. So anyways, the CDi Zelda series definitely deserves a seat in history's hall of mistakes.

BTW, sorry there was no animal of the week this week. I know you were all in anticipation of what this weeks animal would be, so here's one for you.

It's a frog.

This Weeks Moment in Natural Selection

Jon needs to fix his server

Jon needs to fix his server again. I'm writing this in my blog because Jon gets my new posts in his e-mail. I guess I could have just e-mailed him, but this is more fun. He'll fix it eventually, but I want him to fix it now because I was gonna go beat the dragon in Legend of the Green Dragon which is hosted on his site and now I can't get to it. You hear that Jon? Fix your damn server beeatch. :P


Edit: Alright, his server is back up and I just beat the dragon.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Don't let Bert hold your babies.

Superstar of the Week is the New Orleans Looter

This Weeks Moment in Natural Selection

Animal of the Week is the Basilicus Lizard

Takin the Day Off

I got sunburned today and don't really feel like writing anything. I know it doesn't seem like sunburn and writing would go together, but I just feel like putting out as little effort as possible.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Beastiality is considered animal abuse in most states.