Monday, July 20, 2009

Superstar of the Week is Cousin Larry from Perfect Strangers... Only Old

In other words; Superstar of the Week is Mike Linn-Baker.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Chase: Smothering You Softly

The World Takeover of Chase
Recently, the bank Washington Mutual has been replaced by JP Morgan Chase. This has come as a big disappointment to people as Washington Mutual has been known for it's free checking, lack of fees, and low interest rates. Similarly, several years ago I took out a car loan with Bank One, in Arizona, only to find myself later on making my payments to Chase.

So, in light of this changeover, I've began to notice certain commercials for Chase on TV. These commercials begin with a night view of the city of Portland from the Willamette river. A soft blue glow, the color of the Chase logo, begins to appear in the city scape. The commercial begins to pan around the city showing the source of this glow; banks and ATMs with the glowing Chase logo.

This commercial, set to the tune, Everywhere by Michelle Branch, gives off an inviting feeling. As I watch the night fill with this cool blue luminescence, sociable people gather around and I think to myself, "wow, I want to go there."

Then the commercial goes to a hillside which overlooks the city. A man sits atop as the blue glow emanates from his laptop. In the city scape below, you can see a few scattered blue dots. Then the dots begin to multiply, consuming the city until all glows with Chase blue. All the while, I'm thinking, "Ooh, pretty. I want to go there."

But then, a bug zapper comes to mind. The last thing a bug thinks as it gazes into the soft blue light is, "Ooh, pretty. I want to go there."

ZAP!!











Now, as a graphic designer I know all about utilizing color to effect moods. This blue light has a sedentary feel. So, snapping myself out of my trance, I realized what I was really seeing; the smothering of Portland. First, we saw the pinpoints of already existing Chase sites. Then we saw the pinpoints spread as Chase took over other banks. But then the whole city became consumed. There are not that many banks in the city. So the commercial seems to imply that Chase aims to take over everything, not just the banks. They want it all.

And the song; it may sound innocent and somewhat... soothing. But the words; "You're everywhere"? Clearly, the scheme here is to soothe us into the idea of them taking over. But what if the Chase logo were red and there were little red lights consuming Portland? Instead, this commercial would have the feel of a sinister force taking over the city. But what's more sinister; to advertise that you're planning a takeover, or to take on a friendly and inviting appearance as the world sits back and allows you to take over?

But that's not all. Unfortunately I couldn't find a video of this particular commercial online. I did, however, find a similar commercial of another city. But this one, instead, ended by showing entire continents being consumed by the Chase logo. So, it's not just Portland... they want the world.

Along with this, I found references to a commercial in which every room of a house emanates with blue from a monitor or hand held device. This commercial is accompanied by the same song, Everywhere. Big Brother anyone?

But there's more. I found another commercial in which the sun is replaced with the Chase logo which emanates blue light onto the black and white world. They want the sun too?

Now, I've heard conspiracy theorists talk about how "every bank is really an incarnation of the Federal Reserve which is the entity that truly controls the world governments." I don't know if this is true, but it seems Chase would like to be in that position.

So, in short; when storm troopers with the blue logo come to your house seeking shelter, you'd best feed them and let them stay the night. I for one welcome our blue overlords.


Monday, July 13, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009

Blooper of the Week

Twitter's Server Sucks Right Now


God, I can't get onto Twitter at all right now. Did Michael Jackson die again or something?

Monday, July 06, 2009

Superstar of the Week is Lou Diamond Phillips

Don't Cheat. He'll cut ya.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Pee-Wee Says: Don't Do Crack

Check this out; an old public service announcement featuring Paul Rubens, better known as Pee-Wee Herman. Apparently he doesn't want people to do crack.

This is serious now, so don't laugh. Don't laugh. No... don't do it!

You're gonna laugh, aren't you?