Superstar of the Week is Shy Guy

The most iconic character of the American version of Super Mario 2, Shy Guy, has survived three decades as a member of the cast of Super Mario Bros characters. In fact, these days, Shy Guy is generally depicted as one of Bowser's minions, despite that Super Mario 2 featured a completely different antagonist from Bowser, and the entire game turned out to be Mario having a dream in the end.

As a kid, I always wondered why Mario 2 was so different from any other Mario game; a completely different cast of bad guys, enemies that you can hop on and ride, or pick up and throw, rather than enemies that die when you hop on them, pulling vegetables from the ground instead of hitting blocks in the air, a life meter, digging levels instead of swimming levels, selectable characters with different abilities, no fire flowers, no two-player mode, and a very distinct Middle Eastern vibe. 

 

Eventually, I found out that this is because, America's Mario 2 wasn't the actual Mario 2. Nintendo of America felt that Japan's Super Mario Brothers 2, which was identical in appearance to, but much more difficult from the original Super Mario Brothers, would be too difficult for Westerners. So, they took a completely different game, an Arabian themed game called "Doki Doki Panic", reskinned the playable characters into Mario characters, and released it in the U.S. as "Super Mario Brothers 2".

So, Shy Guy, despite being a character designed for a completely different game, has survived for three decades as a Mario character, and been adopted as one of Bowser's minions.

Also, when I first saw Shy Guy as a kid, I thought he was a walking loaf of bread with a face.

Superstar of the Week is Captain Bartholomew Gosnold

It's Thanksgiving week in the United States, so I thought I would feature someone who you've likely never heard of, despite the fact that he's only the guy who started the English migration to the Americas in the first place.

Everybody who grew up in the United States, grew up with the Thanksgiving story, about how the ancestors of the U.S. migrated to the Americas to escape religious persecution, sat down and had a lovely turkey dinner with the locals, then one two skip a few, and suddenly there's thirteen colonies going to war with the British.

Of course, if your history background is a little more extensive than what you learned in grade school, then you might be aware that Virginia colony was already well established in North America by the time our Thanksgiving pilgrims made their trek across the Atlantic, which is where our whole "Jamestown, John Smith, Poccahontas" story comes in. Actually, everything in North America that was claimed by the British was referred to as "Virginia" at the time. That is until John Smith, having been banned from Virginia colony, mapped the northern part of this area, and gave a little sales pitch to would-be English settlers, calling the newly charted area "New England". 

Many Puritan settlers had already migrated to Virginia colony for the promise of religious freedom. The pilgrims who boarded the Mayflower, agreed to partake in John Smith's New England project, starting a new colony in the New England territory, rather than settling in the already established Virginia colony. If anything, the Thanksgiving story is the story of why we have a "United States" rather than simply a "State of Virginia".

After the U.S. Civil War, the Union decided to focus on a northern based origin story for the United States, rather than a southern one, and so Thanksgiving was established, focusing on the pilgrims who migrated to New England, rather than the earlier foundation of the southern state of Virginia.

So now, I have written out an entire article, and haven't even mentioned the Superstar of the Week, yet. Basically, Bartholowmew Gosnold was the guy who had the vision of establishing an English colony in America. He started a company called the Virginia Company, and convinced the government and many would-be settlers that prosperity would be found by establishing a colony in America. John Smith referred to him as the "prime mover" of Virginia Colony. Once they reached  Virginia, Bartholowmew Gosnald became the first governor of Jamestown.

He dreamed of a happy utopia built by a union of  English colonists and native Americans. Of  course, it didn't quite go that way, as the natives were quite fine with their way of life, and not particularly interested in conforming to Engish civilization. And, the English weren't quite interested in taking "no" for an answer. But, Bartholowmew would never know this, as he only lived for a year after arriving in Virginia.

Superstar of the Week is Sean Connery

 Raise your hand, if you totally missed Sean Connery's passing on Halloween a few days ago. Maybe you've heard about it since then, but were unaware of it when it happened. Or, maybe you're reading this, years from now, and going, "Wait... What!?" 

That's how crazy this year is. Typically, when a celebrity passes away, we're bombarded with news of it all over the place. You can't miss it. It trends on Twitter, people share tributes all over Facebook. Sean Connery was huge! He was a major beloved icon who starred in over a million movies!* Yet, there's so much craziness this year, Sean Connery's passing was barely a blip in the media! You know, we also had the world's first commercial space flight this year. Any other year, that would have been one of the year's major stories, but this year, nobody cares about things like commercial space flights! There's too much else on our plates! It's crazy!

So, this Superstar of the Week pays tribute to Sean Connery, the star of Zardoz, and some other things. He went young, at 90, not even a full century, yet. 

Sean Connery 8/25/1930 - 10/31/2020

* The quantity of movies starring Sean Connery may have been exaggerated in this post.

Superstar of the Week is Slimer

Halloween week is back on J-Dubb's Theatre, starting off with Slimer, as the Superstar of the Week. Slimer had a small role in the Ghosbuster's movies. In the original film, he was in a minor, yet memorable scene, in which he was haunting a hotel. He ate a lot, and slimed Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), a scene which actually coined the phrase "being slimed". You're welcome, 80s Nickelodeon. 

It was the 80s cartoon, "The Real Ghostbusters", that made Slimer a main character, giving him a name, and placing him in the role of comic relief sidekick that all 80s cartoons had to have. (Think Snarf from the Thundercats, or Orko from He-Man). The second Ghostbusters film brought back Slimer in a cameo, due to his popularity from the cartoon, despite that the cartoon was not a part of movie continuity. The more recent reboot featured a cameo of Slimer, as well. I wonder if the new Ghostbuster's movie, which has been delayed due to Covid, will feature Slimer, as well.

 Trivia: The 80s cartoon based off of the 1984 movie, "Ghostbusters", was  called  "The Real Ghostbusters". This is because there was already a cartoon airing at the time, called "Ghostbusters", which was unrelated to the 1984 film. This cartoon featured a group of two humans and a gorilla named Tracy, which hunted for ghosts. This cartoon was actually based off of a British television series of the same name, which predated the 1984 movie.

Superstar of the Week is Bob's Big Boy

Remember Bob's Big Boy? I was a pretty young kid, in Southern California, in the early 80s, so I barely remember Bob's Big Boy, aside from the big statue that looks like it jumped straight out of a 1930's Looney Tune's cartoon. (Writing that sentence, I realized how creepy it sounds to talk about that figure jumping out of something.) I also remember not really knowing the difference between a fast food restaurant, and a sit-down restaurant, and thinking of Bob's Big Boy as another kind of McDonald's, like Carl's Jr. and Burger King, even though Bob's was a sit down restaurant. I guess it was another burger place.

I thought of Bob's Big Boy, because I recently watched Austin Powers with my wife, for nostalgia sake, and Doctor Evil flies around in a Bob's Big Boy statue from the 60s. Remember that? It's funny; watching Austin Powers when it came out was humorous, because it was a 60s guy trying to work in the "modern" world. Now it's funny because of all the retro 90s stuff. Technically, a spy from the 90's could travel to the current decade, and it would be about the same time gap as a spy from the 60s traveling to the 90s.

Superstar of the Week is Keith Habersberger

Keith Habersberger, known for engineering a hot sauce that goes well with chicken, and some other things. My wife and I ordered a bottle of his chicken sauce. At first we tried it on ground beef tacos, and it wasn't that great. But then we had it on chicken, and it was pretty good. We need to order some more. Dangit! Now, I'm hungry for chicken with Keith's Chicken Sauce!

This blog post is sponsored by Keith's Chicken Sauce. Order yourself a bottle of Keith's Chicken sauce, because hey, why not?

Superstar of the Week is Alphie the Alpaca from Adelaide

I was going to have Alphie as the Animal of the Week last week, but I decided it's more true to the template based on past iterations of Superstar/Animal of the Week, that if someone or something has an individual identity, it's a Superstar of the Week, whereas if it's a general collective representation, it's an Animal of the Week.

Superstar of the Week is Yakov Smirnoff

Remember Yakov Smirnoff? I don't. But, I do remember a period of time when it suddenly became popular to imitate his comedy routine, in which things in Soviet Russia do things to you, instead of the other way around.

"In Soviet Russia, old-school blog read you."

Superstar of the Week is Don S. Davis

Don S. Davis, 1942 - 2008, known for roles such as Air Force General George Hammond, from Stargate SG1, and Air Force Major Garland Briggs from Twin Peaks.  Above, you can see him pictured in his role as General Hammond...  or is that Major Briggs?

Superstar of the Week is Orville Redenbacher

I'm not typically a big fan of popcorn, but this actually makes me want popcorn.

Superstar of the Week is Roach

While posting my past videos to this blog's archives, I realized that Roach is my favorite J-Dubble. Floyd seems to be the most popular, along with Roger LeBlanc, and Professor Glenn Robbins. But Roach, despite his vacant exterior, seems to be the most loyal and helpful J-Dubble. When I had been indoctrinated into clown-hood, it was Roach who took action to make me right again. And when the other J-Dubbles didn't remember who I was, Roach was the one who reminded everyone.

Superstar of the Week is Donald Sutherland

The first Superstar of the Week in 10 years, is Donald Sutherland in his role as Hawkeye Pierce, from the movie, Mash.

The first ever Superstar of the Week, was Alan Alda in his role as Hawkeye Pierce, in the classic TV series, Mash.

Superstar of the Week is Pennywise

"Creepy clowns" seems to be the theme lately. But I figured while were on the topic, why not feature Pennywise for this year's Halloween Superstar of the Week. After all, he did a great job of scaring the $#*! out of me as a kid.

Once a year for a few years, when I was a kid, Steven King's "It" would air as a two part mini series. After watching the first half, I would go to bed completely creeped out. Funny thing is, I wasn't really creeped out by clowns, or necessarily even Pennywise. The movie itself just had a creepy feel. It was definitely one of the better of Steven King's made for TV movies.

The second night, after having seen the characters topple the monster which was behind Pennywise the Clown, I would always go to bed feeling refreshed.

Superstar of the Week is David Attenborough

David Attenborough is a former BBC broadcaster and naturalist known for nature programs and the "Life" series on natural history. Why is he Superstar of the Week? I'll give you three reasons...


1. He's got a dinosaur named after him. It's called the Attenborosaurus. No joke.






2. He's the brother of Jurassic Park's Richard Attenborough.









3. To the best of my knowledge, numbers one and two are completely coincidental. The guy has a dinosaur named after him and a brother who starred in the most monumental dinosaur movie of all time. What are the odds?


.

Superstar of the Week is Mick Jagger

In the old days, men used to spend a lot of time on their hair and grooming in order to impress women. Men wanted to look handsome for the big date, or whatever. Then along came the concept of the butt-ugly rock star. Women flocked to these men in droves and they were ugly as sin. Now, thanks to guys like Mick Jagger, men know that it's not surface things like good looks that attract women; it's surface things like money and power.

Superstar of the Week is Sylvester Stallone

Most people, in order to appeal to an audience, must be understood by said audience. That's why I've chosen Sylvester Stallone to be the Superstar of the Week. In the 80's and 90's, he was able to generate massive appeal from millions of fans who couldn't even understand a damn word he was saying.

As a matter of fact, was he even saying ANYTHING? The typical Stallone line seems to consist of "Brabljafrabren. Adriehhhh!! Rabrabzameeben." I mean, seriously, what the hell is that? How can someone gain such a big screen presence without even speaking an identifiable language?

But then, there do seem to be other actors capable of pulling off the same thing.

Superstar of the Week is Danny DeVito

Look at the little bugger. What a freakin goofball. Who else can pull off playing The Terminator's twin in a movie while being 5 feet, bald, and the complete opposite of anything athletic? No one, that's who. And unlike Arnold, he was actually a perfect fit for his role in Batman as The Penguin. Arnold as Mr. Freeze? Really? Mr. Freeze was a geeky pencil-neck scientist who was enhanced by a mechanical suit, not the beefed up Austrian monstrosity which is Arnold.

But then again, "Batman and Robin" may be along the lines of being one of the worst movies ever, not unlike Highlander the Source, and the casting of Arnold was only one of a multitude of things that are upsetting about that movie's existence. What was up with the Bane character? Bane is supposed to be savvy and intelligent, not some mindless oaf who speaks in one word sentences.

God what a horrible movie. The first movie was a classic. Batman Returns was good. But then Joel Schumaker came along and wrenched the series from Tim Burton's hands, as well as its fan base. I don't know if he was trying too hard to be "Tim Burtony" or what, but what a train wreck. God, seriously... Batman and Robin was a horrible horrible Batman adaptation.

And that's what I have to say about Danny DeVito.

Superstar of the Week is Thurl Ravenscroft

This man, who looks a lot like some cliche villain from a 1960's movie, was a voice actor known for his deep booming voice. He is best known for the voice of Tony the Tiger. He also provided the voice for the buffalo head at Disneyland's former attraction, The Country Bear's Jamboree. But he is rarely attributed to what may be his best known work. The familiar bass singing you hear in Dr. Seuss' animated classic, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is none other than Thurl Ravencroft.

Many people mistake the voice of this classic song as belonging to Boris Karloff, despite the fact that this voice doesn't really sound like Boris Karloff. This is because Karloff narrates the story as well as provides the voice for the Grinch. But some incompetent bastard forgot to add Thurl to the credits, an error which somehow slipped past editing, and to this day people still attribute this classic performance to Boris.

The Grinch song can now be heard as sung by the voice of Tay Zonday.

Superstar of the Week is Ramblin Rod

Who is this Ramblin Rod? If you grew up in the Portland area, you already know. For the rest of you however; Ramblin Rod ran a cartoon show in the afore mentioned Portland area from 1964 to 1997, and as per the testimony of many former kids, he was a dick. Now, I never met the guy myself, but seeing how everything I have heard seems to confirm this (and I have heard nothing which contaradicts this) it seems that the man with a million buttons on his sweater was a huge prick.

I don't remember much about the live show in between cartoons, but the thing I remember the most is that it always began by showing a phony TV set that looked a lot like an Etch a Sketch with legs. A hand would tune this TV using the white Etch a Sketch knobs, until a voice said "Now it's time for the Ramblin Rod show." Then the knobs would pop off the TV and dance around, still connected by what seemed to be optic nerves.

The show itself consisted of a studio which contained a "peanut gallery" of about 50 kids. There was a smile contest and a birthday celebration. Kids all over the Portland area wanted to appear on The Ramblin Rod Show to be on TV. When they did, they discovered that when the camera wasn't rolling, Rod was a crank.

So, in a nutshell, Ramblin Rod was a grump with a cartoon show and a whole bunch of buttons on his freakin sweater.


Oh, and yes, I said "was." RIP 1933 - 2002

Superstar of the Week is Jan Crouch

The superstar this week is Jan Crouch. She's a singer and aspiring super model who is in love with a small green frog made of felt.

Oh wait... I'm thinking of someone else.


So... Jan Crouch; she is the stuff nightmares are made of. With that big poofy hair, layers of eye makeup, and that menacing grin; Pennywise used to have his parents check under his bed to make sure Jan Crouch wasn't hiding under there. But they didn't, because they were too afraid that she might actually be there, waiting to devour their brains. So they all barricaded themselves in a room with flashlights and didn't get an ounce of sleep. Really... that's Pennywise's back story. Just ask Steven King.

Now days, Jan Crouch sits upon her golden throne as she rules the Galactic Empire.

"As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!"

And that's all there is to say about Jan Crouch.