Saturday, October 30, 2010

Nosferatu VI

The first few Nosferatu Halloween posts dealt with things which drain ones energy, such as Banks with all their fees; things that suck blood in a metaphorical sense. The last couple were about fictional creatures that actually do drink blood, such as El Chupacabra and even Nosferatu themselves. Today, I'm going to talk about a real-life blood drinker.

The lamprey is an evil evil evil creature. Now, they don't typically drink human blood, they drink the blood of aquatic creatures. But still, look at that picture at the top of this post. What a horrible creature. Something that looks like this exists, but it shouldn't. There should not be anything that looks like that, which latches onto other creatures. It's just wrong.

We need to rid the world of this vile creature and we need to do it now! Remember the days when we used to gather in mobs with torches and pitchforks? Well, we need to do that again until all the lampreys are gone.

"But what about the ecological effects involved in the extinction of an entire species," you might be asking. My answer to this is that you need to look at the larger picture. No more lampreys! This is more important than any possible ecological side-effects.

Now, let me point out that not all lamprey species drink blood. In fact, only a few species do. The ones that don't are fine. Leave them be and just focus on the blood sucking ones.

Once the blood sucking lampreys are gone we will all sleep better at night. Let's make this happen people!

Thank you for taking the time to read this important message. Stay tuned for next year's edition of Nosferatu.

Note from the future: There will not be a "next year's" edition of Nosferatu. Stay tuned in ten years, for the next edition of Nosferatu. In the meantime, enjoy the yearly Halloween videos, until 2017

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