Monday, July 31, 2006

Drugs in Cartoons

Something that has come to my attention lately is the shady nature of many cartoons. As children, we admired these animated characters. They were our role models. But there is a side to these characters often ignored. There is a dark side to toon town that the media doesn't want us to see.

This epidemic came to my attention while reminiscing about He-Man, my childhood hero. He-Man, the alter ego of Prince Adam of Eternia, possesses a "magic sword" which gives him incredible abilities enabling him to defend Eternia from Skeletor. I have startling evidence, however, that this sword is actually an injector for PCP. Let's use his cat, Cringer, aka Battle Cat, as an example.

Here's Cringer, not exactly the most formidable cat in eternia.

Here he is, fully armored as Battle Cat, and seemingly experiencing some sort of euphoria after receiving the payload of the "magic sword".

Now here's Battle Cat, fully charged and ready. He seems to be a completely different animal.

And here he is, suffering from withdrawal after the effects have worn off.

Now, He-Man obviously uses this to bring hope to people who otherwise have none, but the story gets darker.

Here is a side of Daffy Duck never shown on TV.

Here is Kaa the snake, pushing his product on some little girl.

Here's Donald Duck in the middle of a domestic dispute with Daisy.

Yosemite Sam has turned to pimping in order to support his habit.

And Bugs Bunny has turned to prostitution.

As you can see from this shocking evidence, the lives of cartoons are not all they're cracked up to be. The real heroes are not riding atop giant cats or hitting each other with anvils, however. The real heroes are those you see day to day...

dwelling at the bottom of the sea.

Don't forget to check out the Legend of the Green Dragon.


Curtis Sutton said...

Come on. We all know the Snorks were just Smurfs under water. And if anyone knows about cartoon drug abuse, it's Gargamel. Why did he want to eat the Smurfs? Because they were like little blue bites of heroin.

J-Dubb said...

lol, well, we already know that the smurfs represented communism as I mentioned in my post, UNICEF Bombs the Smurfs back in October.