The Network: part 1 of 2

J-Dubb here,

My life's been pretty crazy these last couple of months. It all started one day when I decided to go for a drive. While I was out, I bumped into several YouTube personalities, including; Smosh, thehill88, and the Winekone. The strange thing is, each of these people ended up getting hauled away buy a burly bald guy, and a skinny guy with a big red afro. Fortunately, my kidnapping wasn't on their agenda, as their boss didn't even know who I was. As luck would have it, later that day I stumbled upon the lair of the mastermind behind this operation, Lisa Nova. Lisa was holding these people hostage inside her house and was forcing them to spam people's YouTube accounts. I had no other choice but to alert the authorities. Lisa Nova was hauled off by the FBI and everything went back to normal. Or so I thought...

My journey through the YouTubiverse brought me into the world of Lonelygirl15. After the arrest of Lisa Nova, I recieved a transmission from a group called La Rezisto over my computer. According to these transmissions, I had past dealings with the secret society, The Order, which had been erased from my memory. I began to feel as if I were being watched, and I was right. Shortly thereafter, I was kidnapped by The Order. I have no memory of what happened during that time. All I remember is sitting in front of my computer, then suddenly, I was running through the woods. Before long, I was being chased by people with bloodhounds.
Everything that follows can be seen in my latest video, The Network. This story concludes my saga through the Tubiverse. It was long though, so I had to split it into two parts. Here's part one...

Welcome Freinds

Hello friends. Welcome to the new and improved J-Dubb's Theatre. That's right, J-Dubb's Theatre is under new management now.

The J-Dubb's Theatre family is working hard to give you the optimal experience.

Now, in the past, J-Dubb's Theatre has been known to ignore popular trend. The old J-Dubb held a blatant disregard for pop culture that you as fans require. The media dictates these things for the good of society, and we at J-Dubb's Theatre will be sure to feed you with everything you need in order to help you find your place in society.

From now on J-Dubb's Theatre will:

.Give frequent American Idol updates

. Inform you on all the latest diet trends

. Include the wisdom of quotes from people like Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake

. Inform you on which products are superior according to celebrity polls

. Talk about the importance of maintaining a high credit score

. and much much more

Also, J-Dubb's Theatre is now teamed up with X-Box, the worlds most superior gaming consul

J-Dubb's Theatre is brought to you by:

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I Figured it Out!

I understand everything now! We're all being replaced!

Viva La Rezisto!!

Somethings Happening

There's something big going down. First there were the disappearances of J-Dubb and The Orders search party. Then our own search party missed two check-ins and we were unable to locate them. Now people are disappearing all throughout La Rezisto, and sources say, the disappearances are happening throughout The Order too. People with no affiliation to The Order or La Rezisto are disappearing as well. The media won't even acknowledge the disappearances. There's a cover up going on. Whatever the deal is, there's one thing I'm sure of; The Order isn't behind this. They're victims too. The freaky thing is, these people aren't just being taken, they are literally disappearing. I've seen two people vanish before my eyes. It's only a matter of time before it happens to me too. The question is; what is the common denominator? Is everybody at risk, or only certain people? Well, I hope I'll be around to update you some more later.

Now What??

We just got word that both J-Dubb and the search party for The Order have dissapeared without a trace. We have top trackers on our team who claim that there's no evidence as to where they could have gone. Now What?

Strange Phenomena

Last night, there were several UFO reports from our search team. Almost all our guys, and gals, reported lights in the sky. Two of them reported seeing disc shaped object and three people reported a spot light over them, lighting up the forest like daylight, then disapearing. There's been much speculation as to what this may have been. Some say they were tracking devices from The Order, some say it's another resistance group, some say the government is in on the search too, and others think it's not connected at all, just a coincidence. Whatever the case, it's very curious.

Big News

The Order is currently tracking J-Dubb through the woods in Northern Oregon. They are using bloodhounds. Our people have located this party and will try to intercept J-Dubb before The Order can. The only problem is, if J-Dubb has been able to evade The Order for this long, how can we expect to catch him?

House Cleaning

Last night we did a bug sweep on J-Dubb's house. All cameras and audio devices have been removed.

Audio File

We've been searching through the rubble of the facility that J-Dubb escaped from, looking for clues. One thing we found was this audio file...

Jeremy · A1303 19JUL08 Lebronsky

No real leads as to where he may have gone, as of yet.

Viva La Rezisto!!

LaRezisto

I am a member of the resistance. I have regained control of this blog for J-Dubb. A secret society known as, "The Order", kidnapped J-Dubb and took control of J-Dubb's Theatre. They also posted that video on his YouTube channel. Apparently, J-Dubb has escaped. Unfortunately, no one knows where he is right now. He probably doesn't even know where he is or how he got there.

We're doing everything we can get the owner of J-Dubb's Theatre back to you guys. In the meantime, I'll keep you guys updated.

Viva La Rezisto!!

Urgent: Escaped Subject

This site has been confiscated by The Order. The owner of this blog, subject A1303, aka "J-Dubb", recently escaped from our custody. The subject at large is extremely dangerous. For more information, watch this video...

Factoid of the Week

When the Titanic hit an iceberg in the north Atlantic, the silent version of the film The Poseidon Adventure was being screened aboard ship.

Source: http://www.snopes.com/

Superstar of the Week is Jason Alexander

J-Dubb Does LisaNova Does YouTube

FINALLY
After about a week of production, my latest video is finally ready. Now I know I said I'd still be doing the weekly posts while the video was in production. Yeah, um, sorry.

Anyways, this latest video is a response to LisaNova's video, LisaNova Does Youtube. You might want to watch that one first. Yeah, it's one of those.

And here's my video:

C U Soon

Hey guys, I'm in the middle of editing a rather involved video right now, so I won't be posting much untill that's done. I'm still gonna post the weekly stuff like Superstar of the Week, but there will be no major posts untill the video's done. In the meantime, here's your favorite drumming fat kid...

Superstar of the Week is Paul McCartney

Factoid of the Week

Matterhorn Mountain at Disneyland houses a basketball court.

Source: www.snopes.com

J-Dubb Online

When I first started this blog, I would occasionally look up J-Dubb and J-Dubb's Theatre on Google and Yahoo to see how long it took the crawlers to find my site. Yahoo crawlers seem to be a lot faster btw. Anyways, occasionally I'll still look up J-Dubb's Theatre just to see what all comes up. Usually old posts like, Superstar of the Week is Don Polinsky. My old videos page comes up too. Well, I just tried it again yesterday, and the results have changed a lot since I've started doing YouTube videos. About J-Dubb comes up probably the most, and on more sites than just YouTube. I also found some Winekone results and even a Boh3m3 result, just because I have a couple video responses to them. In fact, my videos seem to dominate the results pages now.

Interestingly, one thing I've found is, J-Dubb Design, which is interesting in that as a graphic design student I've actually used the label, J-Dubb Design. I guess someone's beat me to it.

Anyways, one person who always comes up when I put in a search is this rapper. In fact, this guy was pretty much the predominant search result until recently. Anyways, something kind of curious that I found listed under, J-Dubb - AOL Music, was the description reading, This is the first ever post in the month of April for J-Dubb's Theatre. ... This one is a documentary about myself and the beginnings of J-Dubb's Theatre. ..., one of my old posts and then the description for one of my videos. But when I clicked the link, it brought me here. I couldn't find anything about J-Dubb's Theatre on the AOL Music page, though.

Anyways, time to go prep for my next video.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Burger King is out there. Do you know where your children are?

More Than Meets the... well, you know

So, after about 19 years of waiting, I finally saw a live-action Transformers movie. Overall, it was entertaining. Now, I didn't really expect much from this movie from the beginning, I mean, come on, it's the Transformers. I thought the Transformers were badass when I was six. I'm 27 now. This is not an epic movie that will change my life. So, starting with low expectations, the movie actually turned out to be better than I expected. Of course, every line was canned, especially the beginning scene where they show a bunch of marines sitting around in a V-22. I think each line in that scene covered just about every war movie, ever.
Also, there were a couple cheese-ball scenes that dragged on a little longer than they should have. For example, we received a full dose of the ol', kid trying to hide his new alien friends from his parents ploy, which the movie could have done with out.

Other than those things though, it was decent and entertaining. I'm not too picky about movies though. Some are just dumb, like Congo, and of course Alexander, which had me rooting for the death of Alexander just so that the movie would end. But a lot of movies that people didn't seem to like, such as Water World and Armageddon, were perfectly good movies to me. Seriously people, What the hell are you whining about! Those were good movies!! Transformers, though, was not great like the two afore mentioned movies that picky people didn't seem to like, it was just entertaining and watch-able. Something that I might stop on if I'm flipping through the channels, but not something that I'd choose from my DVD selection to watch with dinner.

The other factor to the movie is, "how Transformers-ish is it?" Well, on a scale of one to twenty three, I wouldn't answer, because I hate those scales. My complaint would be that the Decepticons were too beast-like, as opposed to the soldier-like decepticons of the cartoons.
Also, I've heard complaints about the fact that Optimus Prime has lips instead of the classic mouth plate, but I thought Michael Bay had a pretty good solution to that, actually: give him a mouth for dialogue parts and a flip-up mouth plate for fighting parts.


Something I noticed was that the Autobot, Ratchet, seemed to have Ironhide's personality, whereas Ironhide was just your basic transforming alien robot. Jazz was still Jazz, however, which was nice.

Another thing that was pretty different about the movie was that it focused more on the human characters. The movie centered around teenager, Sam Wittwicky, apparently a rename of the character, Spike Wittwicky of the cartoon. The movie even included an incarnation of ol' Sparkplug, though I don't remember what his rename was or if it was even mentioned. He had a rather minor role, however, as in the movie he was never even acquainted with the transformers. Mother Wittwicky even made an appearance, something which never happened in the cartoon series. Plus, the film came complete with sex appeal, a busty blue eyed brunette who shows her teeth a lot ( I like that look, so that was a plus for the movie in my book). Anyways, this difference resulted in the appearance of normal sized humans and giant robots, as opposed to the cartoon which gave off the impression more of human sized robots and tiny people.

And Michael Bay was generous enough to include throwbacks such as the classic transformation sound, and a scene in which Megatron declares, "Once again you have failed me Starscream."

Now, for those of you who were seriously disappointed by how the movie turned out and are in need of consoling, I've got four words for you: Masters of the Universe.

In other words, it could have been worse. ;)

Superstar of the Week is Jerry Lewis

J-Dubb's Theatre is Like a Lawnmower

" Adam said...
Man, you teased us with this post almost a week ago, and since then, NOTHING! :)
June 29, 2007 9:41 PM "

A friend of mine named Adam, wrote this comment on a post that I wrote two weeks ago, in regards to my commenting that I would start posting regularly again. Other people are probably thinking about the same thing as him. Well, including the post that he's referring to and the previous superstar of the week, I actually have posted a lot more these past two weeks than I have in the past few months, new video posts aside. Thing is, J-Dubb's Theatre is like a lawnmower, as stated in the title of this post. It takes a few revs to get it going. Look back at June of 06 in my archive, and you'll find that approximately a year before I wrote the post, Summer Time, I was once again talking about bringing the regular posts back to this blog. There were a few more posts that month then there were the previous months, but the blog didn't really pick back up until the following July, which turned out to be the busiest month in Theatre history. Then the blog went pretty heavily the following few months until about December, when things started to slow down again. So I guess I should clarify, from now on, instead of just saying I'll be posting regularly again, I should say I'm starting to rev up J-Dubb's Theatre again.

Edit: It was actually May 06 when I decided to start posting regularly again, I started back up in July, and August, not July, had the record number of posts, equaling the amount of posts in all of 2005 (which doesn't really say much since there were only three months in 2005)

Superstar of the Week is Bill Paxton

Bill Paxton Quote: "That's it man! Game over!" Aliens

Summer Time

It's summer time again. That means it's time for J-Dubb's Theatre to become active. Well, it has been active in the video department, but not so much in the blog department. But now it's time to bring back all the summer features you enjoy, (I like to pretend you enjoy them anyway). I'll be posting regularly again, plus, starting next week I'll be bringing back the weekly features like, Superstar of the Week and Moral of the Week, possibly This Weeks Moment in Natural Selection, and a couple new one's, like, trivia of the week or something. I may be putting out a few new Crack Kills as well, with my new Illustrator skills I learned in Graphic Design. So here it is, one more reason for you to stay indoors on these beautiful summer days.

So in closing: Don't feed your mogwai after midnight. Actually, I'd kind of like to see a bunch of gremlins running around screwing things up, so, do feed your mogwai after midnight.

The Truth About elephant831

In an attempt to convince people that Youtube celebrity, daxflame is a real person, elephant 831 has created videos claiming that he goes to school with him. In one of these videos, he actually printed out a picture of daxflame and taped it into a yearbook. In this video, I expose elephant831 by revealing the startling truth.

The Truth About elephant831

How to Stir Gumbo

The Winekone recently posted a video where he reveals his ignorance about gumbo stirring. In this video, I have documented my research into the subject in an attempt to set him straight.

The 1890's Crank Phonecall Guy

I just uploaded a new video only 3 days after the last video. I wanted to shoot this one a couple of weeks ago, but I was still in the middle of editing Newport. My newest video is about a gent from the 1890's demonstrating ways to put the recent invention, the telephone, to recreational uses.

Newport

 
It's been over a month since I've posted a blog or a video. I guess it's not the first time in Theatre history to go this long without posting. Anyways, I've been really busy this term.

Here's the latest video. It's a trip I took with my freind Jon to Newport Oregon. The trip was over a month ago- Actually, it was the same weekend as my last post on this blog- but the video's been long in editing. It was a lot more difficult to edit than my usual videos simply because instead of scripted takes with a precise spot in the story line, I had to go through tons of on the spot video footage and figure out how to lay it out in the most interesting way.

Plant - Deleted Scene

Here's a scene I deleted from my last video, Plant. I have released it separately simply because it bogged down the video. It is however, the scene which includes the pipe. Since it's a Theatre law that every video has to include the pipe at some point, I figured I better release this. It worked out though, seeing how I didn't have time to film this week.

Plant

Here's the latest video. A hip new crime fighting saga called, Plant.

April Post

This is the first ever post in the month of April for J-Dubb's Theatre. If you look at the archives, 2006 skips from March to May, and the blog was started in October of 2005, missing that years April. So today marks Theatre history as the first ever April post.

Since this is a short post, this is where I normally add the drumming fat kid for entertainment, but he's on vacation, so sit back and be wowed by the musings of Paccy the alpaca.

btw, what's the deal with naming animals after their species or parts of their body, like Paccy or Whiskers. You don't see people walking around named Humey the human or Handsy the person.

About J-Dubb

Here's the second video I said I would post this week. This one is a documentary about myself and the beginnings of J-Dubb's Theatre. I had been planning to do sort of a spoof of the "behind the rock" type documentarys, but then I found a video by YouTube's Renetto called "Who are you.... Who Who... Who Who" so I decided to post it as a response to that.

I will be awarded

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This just in. I had a fortune cookie a few minutes ago and apparently I will be awarded some great honor. I still have yet to find out what in fact this honor is, but the fortune does in fact say, "You will be awarded some great honor." So I have that to look forward to now.

The Latest Rage

Here's a new video. It's a little early, but I figured I have time off, so I might as well do two this week. This is a rant that I've had for a while now, but the wideo was inspired by a video of YouTube's Boh3m3, called [VLG?]Consoles and The Website. The Latest Rage is a sketch about the latest trends in gaming consoles.

Pin-Pal

So it seems I have a new pal. I really don't know anything about this person except:
1. They like the Suns, and
2. They think I'm somebody that I'm not.
I don't know anything about this person who they seem to think I am ,either, except:
1. They are some type of student, and
2. They have outrageous hair.

Alright, so let me back up.

Awhile ago, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize. The message read, "WHOOO! HOW BOUT THEM SUNS!?!?"
I found this odd because I am neither a Suns fan, nor do I know anybody who is. But, for some reason, I didn't respond. No "who is this" or "I think you have the wrong number homey." Nothing.

About a week later, I got another text from the same number. This time it said, "I read them...hey how ya been?"
Once again, I just let it be. But then the next day I got another message saying, "Why are you texting during a test?"
This time I decided to respond. As I was thinking of what I would say, something along the lines of "I don't know who you are" I decided instead to respond with, "I'm expressing my love."

Well, I hadn't heard from this person for a couple weeks, until today, when I received a message that said, "Are you tired of hearin how your hair looks? Lol"
So I responded with, "Oh, I am so tired of it. I swear, one more peep and Im gonna blow up the moon."
This person then replied, "Your hair looks nice."
So I said, "Ah, thanks man. Now I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy."
To which they responded, "Haha. There goes the moon."
And I replied with, "Yup, you blew it man. No more silvery orb watching over us from the night sky."
And that was the end of the conversation. So, anyways, this is an interesting situation going on here. If that person actually happens to read this, well, "What's up new friend". And for the rest of you, I'll be sure to keep you posted on the ensuing drama.

Speaking of my cell phone, the first time I paid my bill over the phone, I thought it was pretty crazy how much security stuff you have to go through. It's understandable though. But now that Sprint's merged with Nextel, when I call the "pay your bill number", it first takes me to a Sprint/Nextel line, where it asks me to put in my phone number. Then it asks me to put in my phone number again to verify it. Then, if you have put in the same number twice and they've verified that you are in fact a customer, they send you to the Sprint, "pay your bill line", where they ask you to put in your number to verify that you're a customer. Seriously peeps...

Well, that's what I've got for now. Stay tuned for my next video.

System of a Down: A.D.D.

Here's my latest vid. This is my first serious video. It's a music video to System of a Down's song, A.D.D.

Note from the future: This video was created and uploaded in 2007. After viewing this video from the reference point of 01/08/2021, I've realized that viewing this video out of the context of the time in which it was created can give it a different meaning than what was intended. At the time, it was intended to be about not being run by the status quo, and there was a lot of young-person angst to it. This was also during a very different political climate during the Bush Administration. Viewing this video in January 2021, on the other hand, gives this video an entirely different meaning than what was intended.

Grass and Time Travel

Here's my latest vid, Grass 'n Stuff, a response to one of Jon Dodson's videos.



I also took part in another video this week, directed by Jon, called Time Travel Adventures.

Lipsinking to the Winekone

I posted video #4 yesterday. This is a video response to one of the Winekone's videos where he rants about lipsinking. Check out that video first. You'll need to watch it in order to get parts of my video.

Bears

Well, I thought it was about time for another full blog post, but I couldn't decide what to write about. So, off the top of my head, I decided to write about bears.

Bears, or, Ursidae Carnivora, have been a part of our history for the last 5 million years. During that time, they have done wondrous things for our society, such as: building dams, taking care of Salmon infestations, and helping old ladies cross the street.

Of course, they have also played the villain many times, doing things like eating us and stealing our picinic baskets.

Bears have played an important part in Native American mythology and in modern pop culture.

The Chicago Bears did a great job this year, during the season and the playoffs. Of course, J-Dubb's Theatre endorses Indianapolis and was satisfied with this years Superbowl results, we still think the Bears did good.

Bears have made their way into American expressions: "That's a bear of a course," "Don't take it to bear," and of course, "Bear, uh, love is like a bear, and uh, is grizzly-like," um, okay, I've got nothing.

The word "bear itself can even have alternate meanings like, "Don't take it to bear," and "Bear in mind...".

Bears also... well, I guess that's about all I have to say about bears. Now I'll talk about kiwi birds.
Actually, I don't really have anything to say about kiwis either, so, see ya next time.

How to Survive in Society Volume 1: Employment

Video number three's been uploaded. Here's a sketch about the importance of being a good employee. It was filmed with a camera that has much better audio quality than my digital camera that makes me sound like I talk with a lisp, which I don't. Teamed up with me on this one is Jon Dodson of jdodson.org

How to Make a Sandwich

Here's my second video. I just did it kind of on a whim. I found this video on YouTube asking for videos about making sandwiches, and this is my response. Yes, I spelled sandwich with a t. So sue me.

Superstar of the Week is Dr. Nick

J-Dubb's Videos/ 1st Video

A while ago, I added a "J-Dubb's Videos" link to this blog. The link lead to a second blog called "J-Dubb's Videos". This blog featured videos that I had found on YouTube and Metacafe and other such video sites. It was originally supposed to be a personal site for all the videos that I liked, but I then decided to make it a part of
J-Dubb's Theatre.
















One problem that this had was videos would be deleted, or user accounts would be cancelled, making the videos no longer accessible from my page after I had added them to the menu. Eventually, I stopped adding videos.

I still have the link up there in the sidebar, underneath the "Crack Kills" link, only I've rerouted it to my new YouTube account.That's right, J-Dubb's Theatre is now in live action video.My first video is an advertisement for this blog. In the future you can expect sketches, spoof commercials, and maybe a few rants on the credit industry or the evilness of X-Box.

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Be careful what you say. Grandma may only be pretending she has her hearing aid turned down.

3:00 AM Madness

And now for a message from the Winekone guy.

Go Indianapolis!!!!

Superstar of the Week is Phil Collins

J-Dubb's Moral of the Week

Be kind to Gods creatures.

Superstar of the Week is Burt Reynolds

Burger King's Deal with the Devil

Sometime last year, the Burger King finally showed his face. After decades of being known only in name, with nothing to show for his existence but the cardboard crowns that come with kids meals. After years of consuming greasy food and buying cheap excuses for jalapeno poppers which consisted of breaded cheese with little bits of jalapeno hidden inside and wondering, "who exactly is this king and why can't he afford whole jalapenos?" Finally, the man himself has come out of hiding.

To my delight, he made his first appearance to the nation in a commercial for a breakfast sandwich. But there was something not quite right about him. His appearance sent a cold shiver down my spine. Was it the fact that the poor man in the commercial woke up to the menacing grin of the king sitting next to him in his bed? Though this fact was unsettling and probably gave the King a bad start to his career as a mascot, he appeared in other commercials where he wasn't sitting in bed next to a non consenting individual, yet I felt that same eerie chill at the sight of his face.
When Jack first came out of his box a few years ago, he had the potential to come off just as creepy as the king, with that disproportionately large head, sharp-jagged saber of a nose, equally sharp hat, and large eyes lacking pupils. Maybe it's the smile, or maybe it's because he's a dedicated family man, but Jack turned out to be a lovable TV personality.

The King, however, though sporting a grin, seemed to reflect the darkest depths of the abyss.


He tried different ways to gain favor, including making an interception and a touchdown in one commercial. But his efforts were in vain. Something about the King just didn't sit right.

I tried to put it out of my mind, dismissing it as just my imagination, but something has come to my attention recently. I now know what it is about the King that is so disturbing.

I have recently become aware of some games that the King is partaking in. Not Playstation, not Gamecube or Wii, these are Xbox games. That's right, the King is in league with Lucifer.
For those of you who don't know, Xbox is a product of the devil.
Once upon a time, there was Atari, and the world was at peace. Then came Nintendo. Atari retired and the world was still at peace. Then came the Sega Genesis. Instead of one gaming platform, there were now two, and the children of the world were forced to decide which games to keep and which ones to sacrifice. This was the beginning of the Console Wars. From Nintendo came Super Nintendo and from Sega came Saturn, and the wars got bloodier. Then, Sony came along and threw Playstation into the mix. Now there were three platforms, and the world was chaos. As gamers became adults, they discovered the ability to own two platforms at one time. This brought back some balance, but not peace. Nintendo produced the N64, but it was a far cry from the Playstation. Sony produced the PS2 and Sega produced the Dream Cast. Just when it seemed like this war would never end, Nintendo and Sega made a truce. The world of Sega merged with the world of Nintendo. Finally, peace was at hand, and the people rejoiced. But it was not to be. At this opportune time, the evil Xbox slipped on to the scene. The wars started up again, only bloodier and more chaotic than they had ever been before. Xbox wowed some of the people with it's graphics and x'tra abilities, but those who were true chose good gaming over fancy graphics.
Now it turns out that the dark shadowy organization which controls Xbox has had it's hand in the entire console wars from the very beginning. It's mission is fear and chaos. That is what is wrong with this Burger King. He is a troubled soul who has become affiliated with this dark force. But I believe there is good in the King. Somehow he was seduced by these evil demons and he was already under their control when he came into the public eye.
Either that or his plastic face is just fucking creepy.